It began some time around the end of May. A sweeping and lingering sorrow dwelt inside of me. One that yearned for a freedom beyond that which I have currently. Before the dawn of my twenty-fourth birthday, I crumbled under the weight of my own mental fortifications. From the end of May to the end of June, I found myself internally seeking to make some change to the world around me. To contribute something to the advancement of new society or the rediscovery of old.
As is with most who seek to know more about reality, I found myself going back to the beginning of time as we know it. Or time as we have invented it, as it were. The first long pondering recovered from the thoughts that I had been suppressed of for my life had begun to surface. What is the nature of time? Is it of nature at all, or that of a man whom predicated the countenance of days and minutes on trivial events of mortality?
For I to ponder the notion of time as it is known, I had to look backward to move forward. As above, so below. As within, so without. As the flesh, so the spirit. Lo did I find myself searching through the annals of history, esotericism and the legends of pre-histories that venture far from conventional notion. Perhaps it is better to recount this tale from the start, and not from the middle. But perhaps the start is itself the middle, or perhaps the end is the start.
In the beginning there was the word. According to the esoteric, this word sent out a thought in vibration powerful enough to form the universe around us. According to the church of science, there was no word and heavy dust just happened to collapse inward accidentally creating everything. But then where did the dust come from? Aye, it is the questions of unanswerability that brought me to my knees before the wisdom of the ancient world.
Looking back through the various creation stories of the world might seem trivial to those whom live their day-to-day among the sheep of societal construct. Since the day of my birth, the world-over has played host to the creation stories of the various Abrahamic religions. Among them, hundreds of churches have broken and divided themselves into relations of varying degrees. That division itself serves to be the primary inspiration for Atheism as it has grown over the decades.
Atheism itself, however ignorable for their clear obsession with materialism, serves to be an interesting stepping stone in the hybridization of humans with the thoughts of sheep. They consider themselves permanent subjects to the empire, accepting only the evidence of the empire as the sole observable truth of all things. They are a clear mark on how not to conduct thyself while seeking the wisdom and knowledge of that which has been unobserved in the eyes of humanity.
That which remains unsought remains unfound. The ignorance of the Atheist is shared of the arrogance of the church of science. Their core ideology being; That which has not been seen does not exist. But how do you intend to see if you do not seek to find? Does the infinity of truth in existence frighten you?
The churches abroad and abound are not much better in their affairs. The one who fills the collection plate knows not what they provide for the good or evil of leadership. By church doctrine, you must be of their way or get out of the way. The room for scholarship of the corporeal is minimal among the devoutists of churches, just as the room for scholarship of the ethereal is minimal among secular institutes. Few are clear enough of mind to dedicate to studying the corporeal and ethereal together. Moreso the study of these things in relation to all things temporal.
For the quest to begin in knowledge, one has to avoid the fish bait of the church and secular hooks. Collapsing to the negation is a one-way ticket to subjugation. The deterrence of those who are learned to each category is immense. They do not want you to look farther. Traditionally, they ask that you ignore yourself because somebody else knows more than you do.
But what of the genius? Does spouting the endless fountains of observation make one more of a genius than another? Nay, but the other gets drowned out in the vocal sea of the pretending genius. Let not the minds of the power-hungry dissuade you from looking beyond their simpleton nature. There are no geniuses. There are those who are ignorant, oft willingly, but there are no geniuses.
The measurements of one's dedication to ignorance can be found in two most primary habitats. First, in the measurement of IQ to whom the ignorant would subjugate themselves. They let humans who are no different than they are convince them that they are morons by way of meaningless number. Second is the instillment of eternal fear in which the churchgoer would subjugate themselves. The louses of robes and tall hats only teach of eternal love by way of promising eternal punishment.
By what authority does a human among the corporeal have to affirm that you will suffer forever? By what authority does the secular church have to measure your worth in mental capacity? Have they not continuously proven themselves wrong about all things as the centuries have passed? Have they not constantly issued dribble to the minds of those who would accept it without questions?
Do you ever ponder the nature of infinity? Have you ever wondered what an infinite number of infinities might look like? What is smaller than the quark and to that effect what is smaller than what is smaller than the quark? Reality is deeper than perception, far beyond that which we imagine.
That which seeks to know will learn, but may not learn that which they seek to know. As above, so below. As within, so without. As the flesh, so the spirit.
I began my journey in a state of depression. As I approached the end of May and felt the solemn of another birthday approaching, it dawned on me yet again that another year was gone and life one day comes to an end. Or perhaps it doesn't.
I began to consider that which is typically inconsiderable. What if death does not have to happen? We come into life being told for all time that life will eventually end in death, but if we had no conception of death would it truly ever exist? Would somebody who was never exposed to the concept of death be capable of dying? To a mind where reality is perceived as life alone, would their life extend indefinitely until the notion of death was introduced?
Of the corporeal body, we all will experience decay. But to the mind that has no conception of illness, and no conception of decay; do we truly have to decay at all? Does one have to succumb to the will of the mind as it slows down from the work of the body? Does the body understand without the mind?
If we go back to a time forgotten but not lost, we can see plainly that the notion of death was once an irrelevance. Stories of those who lived for hundreds of years echo throughout the ages. Theirs are those of people who rejected the notion of death as a constant, rather taking it as something they would eventually do willingly when they felt like they were done with their work here.
As the generations have moved, and our unification of the corporeal and ethereal have been forgotten in time, we too have evolved into a creature that is born seeking the release of death. But for what purpose? All things are of polarity, but life can be polar with life. If the corporeal end is to meet the ethereal beginning, why not conflate all things as life without death? He who has ears, let him hear.
Throughout all of June I sought more wisdom than I had gone seeking for in a long time. Years have passed since my last contemplation of existence, and years of growth accompany that. I followed the white rabbit like Alice into the rabbit hole, and during the fall I pondered as Alice did. All while feeding the mind with information, I was contemplating the trivial state of it all.
The words on the pages soaked in, all while my own thoughts intrusively couldn't help but ask more questions. What was the intention of all things, and what is the ultimate goal? Infinity is infinite, so where does infinity begin and end? If infinity cannot end, then why do we assume beginnings? Why do we assume ends? Must we really have opposition to all things positional?
The writings of scribes from centuries far gone have left more questions in mind than answers, thus is the nature of infinity. Cvpio sophia ad infinitvm. Truth is not so concrete as the buildings of the hermits and priests. Rather, more fluid as oceans of vast space. More gaseous as wind of strong breeze. More plasmid as conduits of electricity.
Confidence is to the soul what food is to the stomach. Without having confidence, we lose ourselves to weakness. In the vanity of weakness, we are subjugated. They who have faith in themselves will thrive above all. He who has ears, let him hear.
Verily I tell you that I did find much wisdom in my search. I read of Zoroastrians and their mysticism. I read of Christianity and their endless struggles. I read of the Hindu Vedas and Gitas. I read of the Buddhas and Tao. I read of the works of the cults and the secret religions. Of the mystics and the mages who proclaimed to know spells. I read most avidly of the alchemists and their pursuits. I read of the myths and the folklore. I read of the legends and that which has eternally been in dispute.
I listened to the words of the seculars and degree lovers. I listened to the words of the preachers and robe wearers. I listened to the words of the new-age and the old-age and gave heed to listen to as many other things as I could. I saw with my eyes the immense collection of photograph and video of the world from ancient to new. Never did I see such a tremendously incoherent story as that of humanity.
Our modern history goes back to only a certain point. A semi-mappable series of events over a few centuries where we may as well have been tool-using monkeys. Yes we had boats, some analog machines, and contemporary society was not entirely nonexistent. But there is a large chunk of history completely missing between ourselves and the ancient world. Beyond that, there are missing chunks of history between the ancient world that are centuries in length.
In complete contrast, we claim to know great amounts about a few very specific periods in time. Have you questions about history from 1300AD forward? You will likely find it. Have you questions about anything prior? You may or may not find it. Much of what is forgotten has been lost by way of destruction. Most of it has never been recovered at all.
Look to the world with confidence, and you'll find the infinitely expanding banks of knowledge. So the bird flies, we build things to fly. So the fish swims, we build things to swim. Paint does the painter who envisions the image. Imagine does the imagineer who observes. They who have ears, let them hear.
Advancement is one of those subjective things that has no clear position or definition. We of today store most of our knowledge on machines, where one major blackout could lose it all forever. What then would archaeology have left to find after one thousand more years? One could argue that our ancient ancestors showed their superiority to us by inscribing stories and images in stone. Radio waves are invisible. Paper is easily destroyed. Properly fired clay will last for thousands of years. Properly carved stone will last just as many.
The state of the world is shift, and we lose ourselves in shifting and forget that which we can advance. We're smarter than the ancients in so many ways, and like ignorant children in most others. Humans are crafters of the material, but only around one percent of material crafts among people serve a purpose. Creativity is most found where it is oft least needed.
The corporeal world around us sees advancement where it isn't. When the style of clothes changes, that is somehow advancement, when it's really just shift from one to another. When the machines get smaller, they aren't necessarily different machines. When many tiny machines are put together, it's just many tiny machines shifted into one more collected space. Where does the advancement in the constant shifting come from? How do we perceive what we do as advancement?
The death of the imagination is most prevalent in the evolution of entertainment. As the imagination has been withheld to constraints, the material world seeks more complex forms of gratification. The special effects aren't good enough, or the three-dimensional model doesn't have enough polygons. The textures don't have enough pixels, or the music doesn't have enough frequencies. The hunger for more and more instead of new and new.
Wherefore do we find that which is advancing with new? Once every decade? Have we so misplaced our creativity that we are incapable of steadily creating things? Even the secular institutes are bored, relegating their tasks to the artificial intelligence algorithms that they write in the form of their own minds. A one-dimensional solution for a one-dimensional person to a multi-dimensional circumstance. Wherefore do we find the sense of self to seek new instead of changing that which is?
Yet still do we linger and think of what ails as a means of moving forward. Machines designed to lift the burden of which we have mentally imposed upon ourselves. If your window breaks in a storm and you fix it, the suffering might have been the storm. But the fixing of the window is a good thing. Suffering is that of which we simultaneously have little and great control of. In a world of hurricanes and earthquakes, so too do we live in an age of advanced medicine and surgery. In the world of greed where the power wages war, so too do the loving try to get food to those in need. In the world where the snake bites the man and releases venom to the blood, so too is the world where we find the antivenom to stop the venom from taking our lives. As time goes on, we find more control over all things, and yet unquenched is the mouth of the man who is eternally thirsty.